2). Give a personal example where you have had selective attention. Why do you think that is? Is there a way you were able to overcome it?
The book explains selective attention as, “choosing one message over another” (Harris, 2008, 131). The book explains that we pick up on keywords in which interest us or provide some type of “preprogrammed” importance to us. The book gives the examples of socialists and environmentalists will be most interested in “messages” that contain social or environmental issues, etc. and so on. I can think of a few times I have fallen into selective attention, especially while sitting in classes. Particularly in my music class, I have a few times been bored and thinking about something else, when suddenly I hear, loud and clear, “This is going to be on the next exam.” Suddenly, I automatically grab my pen and write down the following words. Not necessarily knowing the context of them or what they mean/refer to, just copying down the words since apparently they’ll be on the exam. This has also happened numerous times to me when talking to a friend, watching TV and a particular movie preview might come on that I’m looking forward to so I suddenly pay attention, etc.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
9.03
3). Pick one concept from the assigned reading that has not already been discussed during this discussion week that you found useful or interesting, and discuss it.
The concept I’ll discuss more from the book is receiving feedback. Receiving feedback is important because it allows us to potentially improve and better ourselves in some way. However, as the book explains, receiving feedback can be filled with anxiety. “Receiving feedback is stressful, and our bodies react by getting tense” (Harris, 2008, 140). We all want to be accepted and told good things about ourselves, so when we are about to be given feedback from someone else – which could potentially be negative – we become nervous. But we should just remember that no one is going to be mean about giving feedback; most people are respectful and nice about doing so – sometimes too nice, in fact. On the giving end of it, I think it’s hard for a lot of people to give actual constructive feedback if you are disagreeing with the person. I know in some classes I can get nervous both giving and receiving feedback. In receiving it you’re sort of letting yourself be vulnerable to the person’s critique of you or your work, and if you’re giving it it’s nerve racking because you know how it feels to be on the receiving end.
The concept I’ll discuss more from the book is receiving feedback. Receiving feedback is important because it allows us to potentially improve and better ourselves in some way. However, as the book explains, receiving feedback can be filled with anxiety. “Receiving feedback is stressful, and our bodies react by getting tense” (Harris, 2008, 140). We all want to be accepted and told good things about ourselves, so when we are about to be given feedback from someone else – which could potentially be negative – we become nervous. But we should just remember that no one is going to be mean about giving feedback; most people are respectful and nice about doing so – sometimes too nice, in fact. On the giving end of it, I think it’s hard for a lot of people to give actual constructive feedback if you are disagreeing with the person. I know in some classes I can get nervous both giving and receiving feedback. In receiving it you’re sort of letting yourself be vulnerable to the person’s critique of you or your work, and if you’re giving it it’s nerve racking because you know how it feels to be on the receiving end.
Friday, March 26, 2010
9.01
1). Think of a recent situation in which you found listening difficult. Which one (or more) of the four phases presented the most difficulty for you? Why? How could this have been overcome?
I was studying and doing homework in a local coffee shop with my laptop when a friend called me on my cell. During the phone conversation, the (two) components of listening I had most difficulty with were sensing (hearing the message) and active listening. Not only did I have to tune out the background noise of people talking at tables, the cashier ringing up orders, etc I also had to tune out the homework and studying I was doing in order to pay attention to my friend talking, which I didn’t do. I tried to multitask by doing homework/writing/reading and actively listening to my friend talk and a few minutes – yes minutes – later I heard him saying something like “so what do you think, man?” and I’m like “huh?” Well this could have easily been overcome, actually. I had no problem, as I never do, tuning out the background noise – I just should have also tuned out my studying/laptop as well while I was on the phone. I’m not as good with multitasking as I thought I was…
I was studying and doing homework in a local coffee shop with my laptop when a friend called me on my cell. During the phone conversation, the (two) components of listening I had most difficulty with were sensing (hearing the message) and active listening. Not only did I have to tune out the background noise of people talking at tables, the cashier ringing up orders, etc I also had to tune out the homework and studying I was doing in order to pay attention to my friend talking, which I didn’t do. I tried to multitask by doing homework/writing/reading and actively listening to my friend talk and a few minutes – yes minutes – later I heard him saying something like “so what do you think, man?” and I’m like “huh?” Well this could have easily been overcome, actually. I had no problem, as I never do, tuning out the background noise – I just should have also tuned out my studying/laptop as well while I was on the phone. I’m not as good with multitasking as I thought I was…
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Week 7, Question 3; Paralanguage
3). Pick one concept from the assigned reading, that has not already been discussed this week, that you found useful or interesting and discuss it.
Paralanguage goes beyond the actual words being said; it’s our tone, volume, etc. Paralanguage is defined as “the meaning that is perceived along with the actual words used to deliver a message” (116). When I first read this section of the book, sarcasm instantly came to mind even though it was not specifically mentioned anywhere. Sarcasm can get you in trouble a lot, especially when you are first meeting someone and they don’t know your personality yet – whether you’re being sarcastic, etc.
An interesting part about paralanguage in the book is the part about silence. Silence itself sends a message (117). We have all probably given or had somebody give us the ‘silent treatment’ at some time for being angry, etc. I know one way I will suspect that a friend or girlfriend especially is mad at me is if their phone goes to voicemail; or if they don’t reply to a text message. Those examples are probably jumping to conclusions a little much on my part, especially the text message thing, but that just shows how powerful a message saying nothing (silence) can be.
Paralanguage goes beyond the actual words being said; it’s our tone, volume, etc. Paralanguage is defined as “the meaning that is perceived along with the actual words used to deliver a message” (116). When I first read this section of the book, sarcasm instantly came to mind even though it was not specifically mentioned anywhere. Sarcasm can get you in trouble a lot, especially when you are first meeting someone and they don’t know your personality yet – whether you’re being sarcastic, etc.
An interesting part about paralanguage in the book is the part about silence. Silence itself sends a message (117). We have all probably given or had somebody give us the ‘silent treatment’ at some time for being angry, etc. I know one way I will suspect that a friend or girlfriend especially is mad at me is if their phone goes to voicemail; or if they don’t reply to a text message. Those examples are probably jumping to conclusions a little much on my part, especially the text message thing, but that just shows how powerful a message saying nothing (silence) can be.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Week 7, Question 1
1). Return to the eight principles of nonverbal communication. Pick two principles, and provide new examples of how they operate in a group or team.
“It impacts the quality of relationships”: Having good relationships with your group members is essential to the overall end success of the group. You could be doing something nonverbally that you’re not even aware of – or maybe that you are aware of – that one of your group members could be interpreting negatively. Maybe you never make eye contact with them so the person thinks you don’t like them or got offended about something they said prior. The book uses the example that if you don’t sit next to someone or get up and move away from them might send a negative signal; that seems so elementary school, but it is true. The person may end up thinking that they smell and don’t know it or that you simply don’t like them, etc. Additionally, it could affect relationships if you don’t respond to something they say. For example, when everyone is talking as a group if you don’t address them afterwards or give them nonverbal cues that you’re listening it can be portrayed as rude or that you don’t like them and will obviously affect that relationship. When/if nonverbal communication affects relationships in groups negatively that will affect the quality of the work that gets done, or not done, and will affect how an oral presentation goes If the group has to do one.
“We should concentrate on improving our own action”: Ourselves are the only people that we can full control, so we should try to improve our own actions instead of someone else’s. For example, we should concentrate on listening better nonverbally, not doing things that could offend or be interpreted negatively by others. Focus on using better eye contact; focus on listening more effectively to others talking and making it obvious that you’re listening and understanding them (i.e. not looking down or texting, not being on Facebook on our laptops, etc). I think we can all improve our group nonverbal communication, because 90% of people in classes at SJSU check and update their Facebook instead of fully listening to the instructor (don’t have that problem in this class though, haha).
“It impacts the quality of relationships”: Having good relationships with your group members is essential to the overall end success of the group. You could be doing something nonverbally that you’re not even aware of – or maybe that you are aware of – that one of your group members could be interpreting negatively. Maybe you never make eye contact with them so the person thinks you don’t like them or got offended about something they said prior. The book uses the example that if you don’t sit next to someone or get up and move away from them might send a negative signal; that seems so elementary school, but it is true. The person may end up thinking that they smell and don’t know it or that you simply don’t like them, etc. Additionally, it could affect relationships if you don’t respond to something they say. For example, when everyone is talking as a group if you don’t address them afterwards or give them nonverbal cues that you’re listening it can be portrayed as rude or that you don’t like them and will obviously affect that relationship. When/if nonverbal communication affects relationships in groups negatively that will affect the quality of the work that gets done, or not done, and will affect how an oral presentation goes If the group has to do one.
“We should concentrate on improving our own action”: Ourselves are the only people that we can full control, so we should try to improve our own actions instead of someone else’s. For example, we should concentrate on listening better nonverbally, not doing things that could offend or be interpreted negatively by others. Focus on using better eye contact; focus on listening more effectively to others talking and making it obvious that you’re listening and understanding them (i.e. not looking down or texting, not being on Facebook on our laptops, etc). I think we can all improve our group nonverbal communication, because 90% of people in classes at SJSU check and update their Facebook instead of fully listening to the instructor (don’t have that problem in this class though, haha).
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Week 7, Question 2: prox and chron emics
2). Explain proxemics and chronemics. Are there universal rules for all cultures regarding these concepts? Give personal examples if possible. Give examples of personal experience in other cultures regarding these two concepts.
Chronemics: This term refers to the study of the use of time. One universal rule is that it’s rude to be late to a predetermined appointment and one should always be on-time or early. In small group interactions, this is especially true. “An individual who takes too much of a group’s time may be poorly perceived, and his or her contributions discounted” (Harris, 2008). A year ago during my COMM144F class, my group met up on the weekend at the King library to study/work. We agreed on 3p.m., yet only two of the group members were on time. I showed up over ½ late at 3:45pm and the other group member didn’t show up at all. Additionally, he never even called to let anyone know and it wasn’t until I called/texted him that we found out he wasn’t going to make it because he was caught in traffic from Frisco. Our late and tardiness affected us poorly after that because we weren’t able to contribute as much as the on-time group members did, and they both ended up telling the instructor about our lack of participation that day. It also affected our role in the group from there on out. They didn’t totally trust us after that to get all our work done for the group and our role in the final presentation was limited since they were afraid we’d be late to the presentation.
Proxemics: This term refers to “the ways we structure and use and are affected by space” (Neuliep, 2000). I’ll use an example of personal space on public transportation. No one wants to sit next to a “stranger” on the bus or lightrail so frequently you’ll see people putting their backpack, books, or other personal object next to them to prevent anyone from sitting there. Or sometimes they’ll just sit on the aisle seat to prevent anyone from sitting next to them. When the bus if full and someone gets one, looking for an available seat, you can always see the unwillingness in someone who is taking up two seats to offer their seat to the person who needs it by moving over to the window seat or moving their backpack, etc. And the unwritten rule when getting on the bus is to not sit next to anyone when/if they are other available seats that you can sit in so you don’t end up intruding on someone’s personal space.
Chronemics: This term refers to the study of the use of time. One universal rule is that it’s rude to be late to a predetermined appointment and one should always be on-time or early. In small group interactions, this is especially true. “An individual who takes too much of a group’s time may be poorly perceived, and his or her contributions discounted” (Harris, 2008). A year ago during my COMM144F class, my group met up on the weekend at the King library to study/work. We agreed on 3p.m., yet only two of the group members were on time. I showed up over ½ late at 3:45pm and the other group member didn’t show up at all. Additionally, he never even called to let anyone know and it wasn’t until I called/texted him that we found out he wasn’t going to make it because he was caught in traffic from Frisco. Our late and tardiness affected us poorly after that because we weren’t able to contribute as much as the on-time group members did, and they both ended up telling the instructor about our lack of participation that day. It also affected our role in the group from there on out. They didn’t totally trust us after that to get all our work done for the group and our role in the final presentation was limited since they were afraid we’d be late to the presentation.
Proxemics: This term refers to “the ways we structure and use and are affected by space” (Neuliep, 2000). I’ll use an example of personal space on public transportation. No one wants to sit next to a “stranger” on the bus or lightrail so frequently you’ll see people putting their backpack, books, or other personal object next to them to prevent anyone from sitting there. Or sometimes they’ll just sit on the aisle seat to prevent anyone from sitting next to them. When the bus if full and someone gets one, looking for an available seat, you can always see the unwillingness in someone who is taking up two seats to offer their seat to the person who needs it by moving over to the window seat or moving their backpack, etc. And the unwritten rule when getting on the bus is to not sit next to anyone when/if they are other available seats that you can sit in so you don’t end up intruding on someone’s personal space.
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